


The Bot and The Batter

by Blackmoonrose13



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Robots, Sadness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-04 19:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3085037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackmoonrose13/pseuds/Blackmoonrose13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Grey taking over Mann Co. Scout was left to take care of his boyfriend's van. Sniper has been gone for a long time now, Engineer decides to contact Scout and leaves him a gift. A reprogrammed Sniper bot. This is the story of how Scout while still upset is trying to cope with all these new things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just some notes. It's after Grey's take over of Mann Co. Instead of Scout getting plopped in jail with Spy, he is taking care of Sniper's van while he goes off to tell his parents about Scout. 
> 
> So this has breaks from the comic series just a fair warning.

It was early in the morning, Scout wakes up in Mick Mundy's van. He rubs his face looking over, empty, again. Just like it had been for the months. Scout thinks back to the last time he was with him.

Mick was packing his pack. Scout was leaning against the wall looking worried. Mick looks at him and smiles. “Scout I know this seems like the end, but think of the positive.” He groans loudly. “Don't be like that Scout. Now that the team has disbanded you can properly meet my folks.”

Scout groans again. “That's great but why do you need to go before me?”

Mick sighs. “They don't really know about you. I am going ahead to make sure all is well and good before you get there and show how wonderful you are.”

Scout raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You are only trying to butter me up so I wont get mad at you. Admit it you have to sign the divorce papers between you and your kangaroo wife don't cha?”

Mick goes to Scout and hugs him. Darn you Scout, you saw through my rouse.” He kisses him softly, slipping something into his hand. Scout looks down and seeing the keys to his van. He looks up about to speak. “Scout I want you to take care of the van while I'm gone. I trust you my love. Take good care of her.”

Scout comes back from his memory. He rubs his face and gets down from the bed his bones popping a bit. He goes to the pile of clothes on the floor, finding one of Mundy's shirts. He sniffs it thinking 'Clean enough.' He finishes dressing herself then turns to the small stove and places the metal coffee pot on it, he takes a bottle of water and fills up the pot. “Need to buy more bottled water” He rubs he back of his unkempt hair. During the months he hasn't kept up with his appearance or of the van's tidiness. He saw no point if none of the team really contacted him not even Pyro who promised they would. He stood there waiting for his water to boil.

A ringing started happening he looked about he was confused, it wasn't his communicator but it sounded similar and like it was coming from the very front of the van. He gets out of the van and moves to the driver seat. There was a red blinking light on the dashboard. “Mick said it never worked.” He hits the button besides the light. The paneling flipped showing a monitor. 

On the monitor was Dell Conagher, he was smiling and it appears he had grown a beard since the bug out. “Well howdy Scout. I see our impromptu vacation has treated you.” He looks at him. “Uh well.”

Scout was grumbling rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “What do you want Truckie?”

Dell sighs, he heard Scout was alone living in Mundy's van but he didn't think he would be this bad. “Hey listen I sent you something it should be there soon. I hope you like it.”

“You sent me something?” A loud thunk is heard outside. “I will guess that would be it.”

Scout goes out of the van to see something moving towards the van. He squints his eyes trying to get a better look. His heart suddenly races as he rushes back to the front seat of the van. “Sorry Truckie but I have a situation.” He grabs the sniper riffle hanging on the back wall of the driver seat. “There is a bot and I gotta kill it.”

“Um Scout does the bot look like a sniper bot with a red paint job on it?”

Scout looks at them monitor. “Yea why? Is that some kind of new bot?”

Dell shakes his head. “No that would be your present.”

His eyes practically pop out of their sockets. “Truckie. You know my history with Sniper bots. Tell me where in your chrome dome did you think it was a good idea to give me one huh?”

“Now Scout before you pop a gasket, let me explain. I found an abandoned unit and I thought I could collect some valuable information. I did by the way. I heard from the from the team that you were alone and they hoped safe from harms way.”

“You heard from the team about me? Well that's funny cause none of them have contacted me what so freaking ever!”

“Scout there are horrible men after us. Mundy asked us to not contact you encase they were tracing our calls. The only reason I can do this is because.... Why am I explaining now. Listen I reprogrammed the Sniper bot to protect you just encase.” Scout glares at him. “Before you say you can protect yourself. These men have years of experience more than us. They know what to do and you are practically doing spray and pray, I've seen your kill to death ratios.” He grumbles in agreement. “Not only will it protect you. It will give you the one thing you seriously need right now.” The bot was outside his door. “Company. Scout, Snipes worried that you will become, well like him you two became serious.” Scout looks out the window feeling a bit nervous. “Listen I programmed it to have a personality like Mick. Think of it as a metallic Mundy.” He smiles. “Listen just keep him with you. You will thank me later, and don't worry he came with a manual and you can call me if you need help.” He then hangs up.

“No wait.” It was to late. “True I need company but why not a Pyro Bot? Well Scout it's because Sniper is your boyfriend.” If he needed any more convening he needed the company there it was. He looks out the window the sniper bot was bent over, staring at him with its blue rectangular eyes staring at him as it waved. “Why didn't he change the eyes? Oh wait they are a lighter blue like Mick's.” He sighs. “Let's get this over with.”

He got out of the van the Sniper bot backed away then waved. It then spoke in a voice similar to Mundy's but in a more robotic tone. “Greetings Twitchy Unit. I am Sniper bot designated Metallic Mundy. I am here to protect, help and give company to the one designated as Twitchy Unit.” It tilted its head then waved in a similar (yet stiff) way like Mick.

Scout rolled his eyes. “Okay first off. Tell me I have other designations like Scout?”

The unit stands straight and cocked its head processing. “Yes I can call you Scout Unit.” 

He sighs. “I am gonna guess the Unit part you can't drop, fine.” A loud whistling noise was heard. “Oh crap!” He remembers what he was doing before the call. He runs to the back door of the van and rushes in seeing the coffee pot. “Oh thank goodness it wasn't a fire.” He goes in grabbing the #1 Sniper mug and turns off the stove.

The Sniper bot walks in. “May I assist you?”

Scout held a box of coffee. “No I am okay I have my tea a certain way.”

“Scout Unit in the morning has Italian espresso that Spy Unit let Scout Unit try 3rd week into work, Scout Unit adds a shot of bonk for the extra caffeine boost and because Scout Unit is an idiot as Spy Unit says. When it's time for him to sleep he uses Sleepy time tea or a eucalyptus tea Mundy Unit orders from Australia, it has a cute koala on the front in a night cap. 

He blinks. “Okay Truckie did program you well.” He throws the box at him. “Okay let's see what you can do.” 

The Sniper Bot catches the box and looks at Scout. “While I work on Scout Unit's coffee why don't Scout Unit works on his art?”

He crosses his arms. “I haven't worked on art since Mick left. IT feels like when he left so did my inspiration so it seems.”

The Sniper bot was working on the coffee listening to Scout. “Maybe now that I am here maybe Scout Unit will gain his muse again?”

“Not gonna happen Sniper Bot.”

The Sniper Bot was about to correct him, he decided not to. It knew that Scout had issues with Sniper Bots it shouldn't expect him to call its designated name. When the coffee was done he went to his holding the mug. “Your coffee Scout Unit.” 

“Yea thanks.” He takes the mug and blows the coffee to cool it. He takes a sip. “Not bad, guess Truckie really did well in the coffee making program.” He keeps drinking the coffee noticing the Sniper Bot looking around. “So why are you scanning my van?”

The Sniper Bot looks at Scout. “This is owned by Mundy Unit.”

“Well Mundy abandoned it jut like me so I am claiming it unless he brings his lying Aussie ass home.” It seemed Scout was still upset that Mick never came back.

The Sniper Bot puts its head down as if it was sorry for Mick leaving him. “I believe he did it for your safety Scout Unit.” 

He glares at him. “You are programmed to believe that. Now why were you scanning my home?”

“Just getting my bearings as humans say Scout Unit. It seems messier than my photo archives shown me.” 

“I have been busy. Are you sure Mundy's personality was programmed into you? He usually gets into a huge fit when it's in this state.” He thinks about when Mundy got into a fit when his room was a mess, due to him Scout became more tidy as a person. “Listen I have to go shopping if you wanna clean up this place fine. No I don't need your assistance. Last thing I need is people gawking at my iron Sniper.” He grabs his bike helmet and walks out the door to his scooter.

The Sniper Bot stood there. “It was worst than Engineer and I thought.”

Some time later Scout comes back to the van groceries in the back basket.

He walked in holding bags for that weeks food, He notices how clean and tidy it was. “Wow Sniper Bot, I'm impressed with what you did.”

Sniper bot sat up from it's sleep mode. “Why thank you Scout Unit. Do you wish for some help with the food?”

“Nah I'm fine don't need help.” He starts putting the cold foods in the small fridge. He then takes off his helmet and ruffles his hair, it was obvious from his tear stained face and his eyes he had cried some time during the trip.

Sniper bot moved towards Scout. “Scout Unit I have found an item of interest while I was cleaning.” He holds up what looks like a silver pocket watch.

He gasps loudly he snatches it from Sniper bot. Scout opens it seeing an image of Mick grinning his crooked smile. He whimpers softly. “Where did you find this?”

“I found it while cleaning the cabinets it was in a coffee can Scout Unit.” The bot cocks its head to the side.

Scout tries to hold back tears. “He got this for me...IT might have been a present for me. Yet he isn't here to give me this time.” He starts to sob. “Mick, why did you do this to me?” 

The Sniper bot goes to Scout and puts it's arms around Scout's body, pulling him close into a stiff attempt at a hug. “Think of it like this Scout Unit. Mundy Unit didn't abandon you, he was planning on coming back.”

He was still crying into the Sniper Bot's chest. “That might be good, but, that means the reason he isn't here is because something really bad happened and he can't get here. He could be dead in a ditch some where. Mick, oh god what happened to you?”

The Sniper bot moves it's hand to his back and pats him gently. “If anything happened they would have contacted you.”

“Mick stays as much off grid as possible.” He sniffles. “They couldn't contact me if they tried.”

The Sniper Bot goes through it's archives. “Scout Unit. If he was dead respawn would have picked him up correct?”

Scout sniffles. “Yea So?”

“So that means Mundy Unit isn't dead in a ditch as you have said. If he died he would have came back.”

He sobs louder. “That means some one knows about Mick being on respawn found him and beat him up so badly he wouldn't be dead, but in a whole lot of pain.” He cries. “You should stop making me feel better. If I keep crying I might make you rust big guy.”

The Sniper bot movies it's head to his face having him look at it. “It's okay Scout Unit, I was made from rust proof metal and painted with water proof paint, and covered with a sealant.” The Sniper bot moves his head to the side and laughs. It sounded like a bad recording of Mick's laugh.

While Scout looks at the bot he had a split second of thinking it was really Mick alive comforting him. He shakes his head. “I think I should lay down, but I have so much to do.”

Sniper bot puts it's hand to his cheek. “Rest Scout Unit, you have gone through so much.”

“You have a point.” He yawns. “I need a nap.” He moves from the Sniper Bot and goes up the ladder to the bed. A pair of shoes and socks go down from the area. “I guess I will check the snares later then,” He starts to drift off to sleep.

The Sniper Bot started to process what he said. He walks to the door and leaves.

He starts to walk through the woods near the van. The Bot notices the snare on the ground. It goes down taking the rabbit from it and snaps it's neck. The robot looks at the rabbit. Thank you for giving your life so others may live.” It gets up and wonders through the woods collecting the rabbits and setting the snares. Sniper bot soon comes back from the woods holding 5 dead rabbits. He places them on the folding table Scout had put out to use. “This must be the skinning and butchering table Mundy Unit must have gotten for Scout Unit.” He goes back into the van to check on Scout.

He was still in the bed asleep his arms around him. He was a tad bit cold.

The Sniper Bot moves closer to the bed and takes the blanket and covers him. It puts it's hand to move back his messy hair. It notices that Scout was crying again while holding the pocket watch the bot found. Sniper Bot moves its head to the side. It's audio becomes lower. “Poor Scout Unit, he is really sad. I must make him happy again.” The Sniper Bot moves back and goes back outside to take care of the rabbits.

Scout Soon wakes up, he notices that there was a blanket on him. He sits up slowly and looks around. Sniper Bot was not inside. He was worried. He notices the smell of smoke. Scout rushes out of bed, there wasn't a fire inside the van, that could only mean.... “Oh Crap.” He runs out of the van bare foot. 

Outside was Sniper Bot stirring a pot over a campfire. The bot looks up and waves. “G'Day Scout Unit how was your nap?”

Scout was still taking in what he saw. “Wait, how, what?” He looks around, it must have been around dusk. He rubs his face noticing the skinned rabbits on the skinning table. “You take care of the snares?” 

The Sniper Bot nods. “Yes Scout Unit, I have within my data banks information on hunting, camping, gathering, and survival just like Mundy Unit. I was also programmed with multiple recipes on cooking many things including wild game.”

Scout snorts. “That's funny when Mundy cooked it was always to taste and used lots of estimation. A robot can't taste....can you?” 

The Bot laughs. “I don't even have a proper mouth Scout unit. I am just using the measurements provided in the recipe. So it wont be to Mundy Unit's taste I am afraid.” 

Scout moves to the camp fire and sits down in the chair near it. “It's okay I guess. Heck I can tell you if it needs something more or less.” He looks at the stew. “So....rabbit stew huh? How many did you find?”

“Five I skinned them all and currently processing the skins for you to make something or sell them if you wish. I have also butchered them all, used one rabbit for the stew and the others will be put in the fridge for future eating.”

Scout nods. “Ah only one rabbit not enough for you to eat with me.” The bot was about to interrupt. “It was a joke Sniper Bot.” He takes a bowel and ladle. “The Stew looks ready, can I have?” The bot nods. He smiles making herself a serving and starts to eat it.

His mind goes back to the first time he had rabbit stew. He was in front of the fire as Sniper was mixing a pot on the fire. “I dunno Mick. I never had rabbit stew before. Hell I ain't even had any form of rabbit before.” He blinks watching Mick fill a couple bowels and walked to him. “Mick what if I don't like it?”

Mick sat beside him. “Well then, when we have that camping trip. We will eat deer and beef jerky.” He hands him the bowel. “Come on my little wombat try it for me please.”

Scout takes the bowel. “Fine, I will try it....only because you ask so sweetly.” He takes a spoonful.

“Scout Unit do you like the stew?” The Sniper Bot looked worried. (Well as worried as a Sniper Bot could be.)

Scout shakes his head. “Huh? Uh yea good stew just like how Mick makes it.” 

The Sniper bot shook it's head. “Does it remind you to much of Mundy Unit? I know food can be connected to memories and these memories might not be a good thing to visit.”

Scout shakes his head. “No I like that, it's a happy memory. I really need one right now. He keeps eating the stew.

The Sniper Bot looks at Scout as he eats the stew quickly as if the memory connected to the stew will fly away. He serves herself another bowel and keeps eating.

“Don't get sick Scout. I understand this stew might have a connection to Mundy Unit, but you shouldn't get sick from eating so much so quickly.”

Scout stops, broth from the stew dribbling on his chin. “You just called me Scout.”

The Sniper Bot jumps in it's seat. “No I didn't Scout Unit.” It started to rub the back of his head nervously. Then looks at Scout. “There is broth on your chin Scout Unit.” It was trying to change the subject. 

Scout wipes his chin with the back of his hand. “You did you called me Scout, not Scout Unit. What is with that?”

“You are hearing things Scout Unit, you have gone through so much. I came here, you received that gift, your crying episodes.”

“Hey there is nothing wrong with crying over the ones you really care for.”

“Sorry Scout Unit.”

“What ever....man even after that nap I am still tired. I might just hit the hay....again.” He stands up slowly. “Need any help Sniper Bot?”

The Bot shakes it's head. “No, I am able to handle it myself.” The bot watches Scout go back into the van. “Sweet dreams Scout Unit.” 

Scout Waves. “Yeah, yeah, have fun dreaming about electric sheep Sniper Bot.” He closes the door to the van and goes to sleep.

After the bot cleaned up the camp site, it went to the front of the van. It sat down and presses the button to the video phone. On screen was Engineer looking like he just rolled out of bed. “Who is this? Oh it's you Metallic Mundy. How is Scout treating you?”

“Scout Unit is treating me fine he hasn't tried to kill me that's a good thing.”

“Well that is good I was worried he would do that after I hung up with him. How is he emotionally? I know that he seems a bit....I can't think of the word.”

The Sniper Bot thinks. “He has been a bit snappy as humans say. But he is just holding a stiff front, he is really upset. He seems to be crying a lot. Scout really misses me. I mean Mundy Unit.

Dell chuckles a bit. “Well it's good to know you are getting along with Scout and you are getting accustom to your situation Mundy. Why don't you recharge and rest you have a whole lot to do.” 

The Bot nods. “Good night Truckie.”

“Have fun dreaming of electric sheep Mundy.” He turns off the video phone.”

Sniper bot sighs softly and goes into recharge sleep mode.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scout and Sniper are getting used to each other and are in a groove.  
> Sniper does something that scares Scout and makes him risk his safety to go to Engineer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post it up. I wrote it but I was lazy to type it up.

For the next few weeks Scout and Sniper Bot lived together. Scout would talk about things from before his life as a mercenary, things that he and Mick did together. Sniper Bot suggested trying to do some of the things to keep him happy. They were fun but they seemed off due to him being a robot. It felt nice being with Sniper Bot it almost felt like Mundy was there with him. Almost being the key word.

One day Scout came home with the weeks food. “Sniper Bot I'm home.” 

The Bot comes out of the van wearing an apron. “Hello Scout Unit! How was your errand?” 

Scout snorts. “What's with the apron Sniper Bot? You look silly.”

The bot looked down at the apron it had flour on it. “Oh I was making beer and cheese bread Scout unit. The flour is a pain to my gears.”

Scout takes the bag of groceries from his scooter. He snorts again. “Beer and cheese bread. The only thing Mick could bake without a recipe card right beside him.” He goes into the van, opens the fridge and puts the food into it. “Sure the guy can cook no card needed if he did the recipe a few times, but baking. Ha he needs a guide poor lug.” He sighs. “Kinda amazed he can bake at all guy doesn't even have an oven, he uses a campfire for Pete's sake.”

“Scout Unit may I ask a question?”

“Yea Snipe Bot?”

“How can you pay for the groceries?”

“Snipes has a P.O. Box. Once a week I go there and inside is a manila envelope with money in it, enough to last me a week.” He smiles putting his hand into a bag. “Sometimes I save enough to give myself a special treat.” He pulls out a bottle of DeGroot's Rum. “Not as good as Tavish's stash but hell it makes me close to the team.” He puts the bottle down on the table.

“Scout Unit do you think it is a good idea? When people are depressed alcohol can make it worse.”

Scout scoffs. “I'll be fine if something bad happens you will stop me.” He smiles at the bot. “Why don't you finish up dinner and we can have a good time?”

Soon Scout was sitting at the table his dinner finished and he was on his 6th glass of Rum. He smiles at the bot. “You know I miss the guy so much. I can't wait for him to get his fine Aussie but back here. Oh baby when he gets back I am gonna ride him so hard we wont be able to walk for days.”

The bot had one of it's robotic hands covering his face as if it was slowly being embarrassed.

Scout sighs. “That man knew what to do in bed. You would not believe what he could do with his tongue. Oh baby it could make your toes curl.”

The bot soon had both hands over it's face head shaking slowly in shock what he was saying.

“But there is one thing I hope to do.” The Bot braced itself for some description of a crazy sex position. “I want to go dancing.” Sniper Bot looks up at him. “Yea I wanna go dancing with him like a couple you know? Arms around each other, bodies close, head on his chest, hearing his heart beat, feeling like it was only him and I in the room, and it's just us, our love, and the music.” He shakes his head. “Well look at me being romantic and crap like those cheesy romance novels.”

“No you don't, you just want to do what you think could be a wonderful night between you and Mundy Unit.” The bot stood up going to the radio and turns it on, finding a slow jazz song. It then puts its robotic hand in front of him. “Why don't we practice for when he comes back?”

Scout looks at the hand and back to the glowing light blue eyes. “You think that is a good idea?” He asks as he puts his hand in the bots and stands up.

The bot nods and pulls him close. “Yes a very good idea.” The two of them started to slowly dance.

Dancing with the bot wasn't the same as dancing with a human, but it didn't feel too different. At least that is what Scout thought in his drunken state. Scout looked at the bot with his half lidded eyes. In his mind he was looking up at Mick who was smiling down at him. He moves his face closer to his. He whimpers softly. “Mick.” He closes his eyes and kisses where his lips would be.

The bot puts it's hand on his cheek. “Oh my little wombat.”

Scout pulls back. “You called me your little wombat.” He steps away. “Mick called me that only he called me that.” He breaths heavily, thinking to herself. 'Oh god the bot thinks it is Mick. I read enough to know that is a bad sign.' He rubs his head. “Listen I need to talk to Engie. I am to buzzed to drive and you know where he is so you are gonna drive. Let's hope you don't have a lead foot.” He laughs weakly.

The Sniper Bot cocked it's head to the side. “Scout....we could just call him.” 

“No it's to risky. These guys who wanna hurt us could locate us. We are driving.” He thinks. 'Now it is calling me Scout not Scout Unit oh god there must be a programming error or something.'

“But Scout.”

“Sniper bot. I gave you an order, you will follow it.” He started shaking a bit from his nerves.

The bot put it's head down. “I understand.” The bot goes to the front of the van into the driver's seat. Scout sits in the passenger seat. “It will take a while for us to get there.”

“Just get us there in one piece.” He was holding the bottle of rum as he said that and started nursing the drink.

Scout didn't know how long Sniper bot had driven to get to Engineer's hide out. He was to busy sleeping and when he was awake (which wasn't a lot) he would be in deep thought. He started thinking how the Sniper Bot had been acting more human. He remembers how he saw him looking at itself at the mirror, almost like it was worried about it's own appearance. Another time it put a wooden spoon to it's mouth while making soup as if to taste it. He shakes his head shocked how he never noticed how more and more like Mick and human the bot was acting. He whispers to herself. “I am such a freaking idiot.” He bumps his head on the window, then moves his hand to his forehead. “Ouch.”  
The Sniper Bot moved it's hand to Scout's knee, his knee tenses under the robotic hand. “Are you alright Scout?”

He doesn't answer. “This is where Truckie has been hiding? An Abandoned warehouse? Seriously? An abandoned Mann Co. warehouse?!”

“He has been living in the underground floors. He figures that hiding in plain sight (sort of speak) is the best thing to do.”

Scout rolls his eyes and gets out of the van. “Let's get going. The sooner I find him the better.”

The two of them walked into the warehouse. There was nothing much, empty crates, old tarps, parts of machinery that couldn't be taken. They could hear faintly the beeps of sentries guarding the area. Thankfully the sentries recognized both Scout and Sniper Bot.

Soon the sounds of the old elevator could be heard. Scout looked over with a combination of fear and anger. The elevator door was lifted open.

Standing there was Dell fluffy beard, goggles, and all. “Scout! What in tarnation are you doing here? You could have been followed putting us and my work in danger!”

“Save the lecture for later.” He walks into the elevator, Sniper bot walks with him. “No you stay here Sniper Bot. I want to talk to Dell alone. Besides you might make us go over the carry weight.”

“Actually Scout this elevator used to.” Scout nudged him. “Oh uh don't worry Metal Mundy. I'll send the elevator back up when we finish our chat. Okay?” Sniper bot nodded as the elevator door goes down. Dell looks at Scout. “Now please tell me why you risked your neck to see me? Better not be cause you want company. That is why you have Metal Mundy.”

The elevator stops the two of them walk out. Inside the workshop was plenty of scrap metal, tools, blue prints, work cloths, oils, but the big thing that caught his eye was a large curtain almost like a hospital. Scout walks towards it.

Dell puts his robotic hand on his shoulder pulling him back. He tenses from his touch. “I'm sorry Scout, but I can't let you over there. I uh have something sensitive over there.

“Yea like what?” 

“It's private. Now why are you here and why wont you let Metal Mundy come with us?”

Scout turns to look at him. “Your programming is too good Dell. Sniper Bot thinks he is Mick.” 

“Now why would you think that sort of thing?”

“He....the Bot stopped calling me Scout unit and....when....when we were dancing after I kissed him.”

“Uh Scout why were you?”

He sighs. “I was drinking, I mentioned how I wanted to dance with Mick, the bot offered, I said yes, I had a moment of weakness, I was freaking drunk for Christ sakes. Stop judging.”

Dell held up his hands. “I'm not judging. So what happened after you.” He snorts a bit. “Kissed Metal Mundy.”

He glared at the Texan. “He called me a name. A name I doubt you knew he called me.”

He mumbles. “My little wombat.”

“Pardon Scout I didn't hear that.”

He blushes as he spoke normally. “My little wombat.”

“He calls you that.” He starts laughing. “Oh that is so cute.”

“Oh shut up.” He rolls his eyes. “But listen he has been acting more and more human. I worried that when Mick comes home. Some weird, who am I? Am I real? Robotic crazy shit.” As he said this he notices a familiar sound coming behind the curtain. A gentle hum.

“Scout I think you have been partaking a bit to much science fiction starring robots, androids, and the like.” He notices Scout still looking over at the curtain. He goes to the elevator and presses the button. “Now Metal Mundy will be coming down in a bit. I want you to explain why you made him drive here thinking he is turning human like and it scared you because you take in to much science fiction and are in it seems still unstable state.”

“I am not unstable. I was just concerned.” Scout looks at the curtain. “Like I am concerned about what's behind that curtain.” 

He starts to go to it. “What the hell are you hiding from me?” He pulls the curtain away.

“Scout please stop.”

He pulls it all the way back. The hum was from a jerry rigged medi-gun, the beam connected to a body. Mick Mundy's body to be exact.

Scout nearly screamed in shock. “Oh god Mick? Oh god Mick!” He runs to the body. “Mick?” He shakes the body. “Mick come on, wake up. It's mee your little wombat. Please wake up. Why wont you wake up?”

A pair of robotic hands pull him away from the body and turns him around. “Scout I'm right here love.”

Scout steps away. “No you are not Mick. You are programmed to be like Mick. You are a copy not the real thing.” 

Mundy takes Scout's hand into his. “It is me my little wombat. I just....”

“Prove it then, tell me something only Mick would know something Engineer would never program in.”

Mundy sighs. “You want proof fine. When we went on our camping trip. After I bagged us a deer you took the antlers and put them on your head and went. 'Hey sexy I'm really horny.' I laughed and we kissed under the stars.”

Dell watched the two of them still holding back a laugh them calms himself. “Listen Scout. Mundy was in an accident, it put his body into a comma like state, before he became that. He told me to make sure you would be alright. I had been researching respawn and well.”

He starts to go into detail how he was able to put Mick's personality, memories, and the like into a sniper bot. “Then I painted him red and tadah. You have Mundy till his body is fixed. Any questions?”

Scout rubs his head. “Uh no.”

Mundy shook his head. “Two times I heard this now and I still don't understand it all.” 

Scout nods. “So wait what will happen to Mundy bot when his body is healthy?”

Dell smiles. “The bod slowly shuts down and ding Mundy is back into his body and all is well.”

“And he will remember all of this or will it be like dream to him?”

Dell puts his hand to his chin thinking about it. “I don't know to be honest. If it does end up like he thinks it's a dream I reckon we will just explain to him how the dream was real and hope he accepts he was well, Metallic Mundy.” He smiles still happy he was able to do such a miraculous thing.

Scout turns to Mundy glaring at him. “So explain me this. Why the hell didn't you tell me in the first place?” Why did you this robotic. 'I was programmed.' crap?” 

Mundy crossed his metallic arms, if he could do facial expressions it would have been mad. “Right I should have gone up to ya and gone 'Hey Scout. It's me Mick. No really it's me. Truckie put my personality and memories into the body of a deactivated Gray bot. Don't worry about my real body it's currently in a comma being healed by a jerry rigged medi-gun in the basement of an abandoned Mann Co. warehouse. Come here baby lets make sweet robotic human love with my sex attachments Truckie build for me.' Sounds a little mental don't it?”

Scout sighs. “You have a point Mick.” He shakes his head. “Wait Sex Attachments? You have a robot dong? Why did you give Mundy a robot dong?”

Dell puts his hands up. “Hold on a second Mundy doesn't have one.”

Mundy glared. “You built one.”

Engie shakes his head. “I will admit it. It was considered. I know people have needs and are lonely.”

“You considered? Truckie you had that thing almost finished when I booted up.”

Scout was listening to the two while staring at Mundy's crotch. “Question, was it going to be out in the open?”

“Scout why are you?”

“Hey I am curious okay.”

Dell smiles. “Well of course not. If I did he would never be able to leave the van.”

“Scout wont let me leave the van.”

“You are a sentient robot you would cause some trouble now shush.”

Dell coughs. “Any way I was planning a more collapsible telescopic kind of deal for Metalic Mundy's attachments.” 

“The thing looked like a medieval torture devise.”

“I told you it was still in the rough stages, if you gave me time it would have been a really high quality device.” He adjusts his goggles. “You act like it would have been the first time I built a sexual device.” 

The two gape at the Engineer. Scout coughs. “You make sex toys? What are they called?”

“Scout don't ask that.”

“What? You always go support local businesses.” 

“Yea for food and crafts not robo sex toys.”

Dell groans loudly. “They are not all robo sex toys. My big sellers are the vagineer. It's a.”

Scout laughs. “I know what that is. I bought one for Mick.”

“Wait.” Mundy pulls him closer. “Why the hell did you buy me one of those?”

Scout blushes. “I was gonna give it to you for your birthday....as a gag gift. Guess you wont need one Now huh?” He looks at Dell. “So is there any sex toys of the phallic persuasion?”

“Oh no Scout you don't need any more you brought like two of them since I left.”

“Hey I was lonely and I needed something. My old one wasn't doing the job I wanted.” Scout blushes. “Wait how did you know about that?”

“Your a screamer love, you know that. Your moans of passion wake me up from sleep/recharge mode.”

Scout blushes a even deeper red. “Okay I get it, damn, you can still make me blush like this.” He looks at Mundy. “So how long have you been like this?”

“Well like half a month since I came back to you. Truckie wanted to make sure I was fully used to my body before sending you me back to you. Like I said it was my idea to make it seem like I was programmed. I never wanted to you to see me like.” He waves off to his comatose body. “That. It would hurt to much. I didn't want you sad.” He puts his robotic hand to his face. “I just wanted to make you safe and happy again. I had a feeling you weren't well with me gone and not contacting ya.”

“Why the hell didn't you contact me?” 

“Safety mostly. I was going to tell my folks about you.”

“But shit hit the fan and you some how are in a comma right?”

“Basically. I was shot a couple of times lost lots of blod my body was in shock and there I am. Please love don't ask any more about it.”

Scout shifts his stance. “Okay but what if your body doesn't recover or like dies?”

“If Truckie is right. I am stuck in here.”

“Great then I grow old and die while you live for like for ever great.”

“No you wont Scout I will make you a body and do the transfer. I have planned to do that to my self when I get older.” Dell smiles. “After I make a perfect body for me of course. Heck if worst comes to worst I can improve Mundy's body and make him more human less clunky.”

“Oy! We are not planning any form of major up grade on my body till my human one rots.” Sniper tone was very annoyed he didn't like how they assumed he wont com back. “You can build Scout's body if you want, but he isn't transferring got that.”

Dell nods. “I understand but unless Medic comes and does his doctoring the chances of your body surviving is slim, Slim.”

Mundy tenses hearing that. “I know.” 

Dell smiles. “Scout just rest here for a bit. I want to add some improvements to the van and Mundy. Just stay here Scout while I do it okay.”

Scout nods. “Yea sure.”

Engineer came back after fixing the van and adding upgrades to Mundy. “Well I am finished now Scout.” He sees him sitting in front of Mundy's human body holding his hand. “Scout?” He looks over his eyes a bit red. “I don't blame you.” He rubs the back of his head. “Listen I added some extras to Mundy should help you out....no not that attachment. I also added a better charging device for Mick, some anti tracking devices and a teleporter, So encase you need me.” 

Don't you mean teleporters? One to go in and one to go out.”

“Nope made a better one never registered in the weapon catalog, so no tracking. Ain't that sweet.”

“I guess, where is Mick?” Scout looks around.

Mundy comes in. “Right here love. Just finish receiving a program to be able to do maintenance and minor repairs.” Mundy notices his redish eyes and his hand on his human body's hand. He tried to look worried at him. “We should go back to Scout. We don't need to be a bigger bother to Truckie.”

“You aren't a bother Slim. Just was a little shocked, you two came here no warning and all that.” Dell smiles. “I will try and find Medic or some one to help your body. I will keep in touch the new systems should keep us off the radar.”

Scout nods. “What about the rest of the team? Have you heard anything?”

Dell shakes his head. “Fret not after they dropped off Mundy not really. I will tell you if I do. Heck I will chew their ears off for you.”

“Nah don't do that I will do that my self.” He laughs “Come on sexy we need to go home.” 

The two of them walk off to the van and start the drive home

**Author's Note:**

> I will be honest. This was originally was a kind of a my OC Sammy and Sniper AU of an AU kind of deal. But I know how some fandoms feel about female OCs that are not female gender bendings of existing characters....I am not saying tf2 does that, but I do know how OCs are treated in fandoms. 
> 
> I had a dream staring Sammy and well wrote up this fic. I was planning on posting the original version but then I thought 'It's a good idea why not post up it up differently to make it have a higher chance of reading it?' So after reading it rereading and rewriting it I made this little speeding bullet fic. Scout and Sammy's speech patterns are similar so not to hard, kinda but any way.
> 
> If you guys do want to see it in it's original form I might post it up later possibly. If enough are curious. I just kinda know how some people feel about female ocs or ocs in general get treated in some fandoms.


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